Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

I had run out of hope.

Be who you already are.

Heart Disease: What You Eat Matters More Than Cutting Carbs, Fat - Healthline

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Space humbles the SEAL-doctor-astronaut | On the ISS this week June 9-13, 2025 - Space

It’s here now, writing to you.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Michaels acquires Joann’s intellectual property, private label brands - WSB-TV

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

I was tired of fighting.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Trump-Musk row fuels 'biggest crisis ever' at Nasa - BBC

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s still here.

Am I the bitch for never wanting to talk to my sister again because of something she said while talking back to me?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

And the sadness?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why did you put a guy’s dick in your mouth the first time?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Is "Cancel Culture" a Threat to Free Speech? Many argue that cancel culture has gone too far, leading to the silencing of unpopular opinions or voices. But is it really a violation of free speech or a consequence of people holding others accountable?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

According to Scientists, This Is the Most Important Thing To Restore Your Gut Health - SciTechDaily

The sadness was still there.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Artists get better with age, e.g., painting. Yet when it comes to pop music, the famous work tends to be written when musicians are in their twenties. So, why aren't Bob Dylan or the Stones banging out amazing tunes now?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

You are like me, then.